I don’t repeat gossip, so listen very closely…

I don't repeat gossip, so listen very closely

 I don’t repeat gossip, so listen very closely…

Ok, that’s a joke, people, but is gossiping a laughing matter?

I was reading a ladies fashion magazine recently and there was an article actually advising women to partake in office gossip.  The article said that gossip is a way to bond with your co-workers and get “inside information” that can be used to further your career.

I don’t agree.  I see gossip as a lethal addiction.

We all know this person.  On the outside they seem very friendly, very together, but as you get to know them, you know find out their dirty little secret – – and that is that they go around telling dirty little secrets.

Someone shared something with them in confidence but they’re telling YOU because, well, you’re so trusted, you are part of her inner circle, she wouldn’t tell anyone else…no, no, no…she’s ONLY telling YOU because telling you is not like telling the world.   Afterall, they trust you.  Doesn’t matter that she barely knows you.

As time goes on you keep hearing things from her.

She tells you about the troubles the boss is having.
She tells you about your mutual friend and the troubles in her marriage.
She tells you about what she overhead in the breakroom.
And then the fun really begins.

She’ll start not just telling you secrets about others but she starts judging them, talking poorly about them, making fun of them, chastising and criticizing them…all the while telling you that she’s only sharing with you because you are part of her inner circle and you are a “BFF.”

You tell yourself that she’s telling you the truth, that you are great friends, and that she’d never say such things about you.  But you know you’re fooling yourself, you just don’t face it, because you want to be included.  Yes, even as adults we all want to be on the inside.

Here’s the thing, people like that are manipulative.  They have a way of making others feel important and “in” on things.  Those same people are already talking about you and sharing your secrets because they are addicted to gossip and the power it gives them.

Here’s what I’ve found from experience, see if you agree:

1.  Both women and men gossip.

2.  If you think your “office best friend” is sharing everyone else’s secrets except yours, you are so wrong.  Tell them nothing, unless you purposely want it “broadcast.”  Their ability to disseminate information is more impressive than the news wires.

3.  Much of what gossipers tell others, with conviction, a completely false.

4.  Gossip destroys friendships, careers, and lives.

5.  Those who gossip are insecure.

The people that I admire most in business spend time on their businesses or their careers and I have never ever heard them spread a rumor nor utter a nasty word about another.

Plus that person that you are bashing today may just hold the key to your next big opportunity tomorrow.  To be taken as a serious business woman and valuable networking partner, squash the stupid stuff  and join me in saying no to the gossips.


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